The Fall Cup: Stage 1, Groups 31-32

               

Group 31

Shake-Off, Spectre vs. Rector, Shut Up!, Fol de Rol, Haf Found Bormann, Birthday Song, (Jung Nev’s) Antidotes, Lost In Music, Loadstones, Segue, Loop 41 Houston, The Steak Place, Portugal, Systematic Abuse, Jetplane

The Fallen

As it says in YMGTA, 'There’s something exceptionally Fall-like about calling an opening track ‘Segue’, and few other artists have explored the "inebriated-tramp-hits-a-bottle-with-a-stick" genre'. But even if you love New Facts Emerge (as I do), it was clear that this half-a-minute of playful nonsense was never going to acquire any points. 

I find 'Houston' pleasant enough, and Lewis thought it worth three points, but the rest of the panel agreed with bzfgt's assessment of 'pretty weak'. 'Steak Place' fared little better. Even bzfgt, who gave it three-quarters of its four-point total, could only say that it was 'dull but nice'. The latest cover to be panned was 'Shut Up!': 'I wish he would,' commented Lewis, 'I'd have preferred a cover of Madness' 'Shut Up' tbh'.

The Orb-like 'Haf Found Bormann' from the Hey! Luciani play also only reached single figures, although Lewis reckoned it worth a couple of points for this live version. He thought 'Systematic Abuse' was 'a long repetitious yet ever building attempt at a classic', but Richard felt that it 'should be a great krauty groove, but somehow it isn’t'. 'Jetplane' managed a respectable 17, but was undone by indifference from Eric (even if he thought it 'a decent enough song with... some typically fractured story-telling weirdness') and bzfgt.

'Portugal' fell only six points short of qualification despite being blanked by three of the five panellists. I think this tale of the group's ill-fated encounter with a Portuguese road crew is hilarious, and Eric gave it his top mark: 'amazingly perverse, delightfully entertaining'. Lewis conceded that it's 'amusing', but Richard 'just [felt] sorry for the letter writer'.

The ethereal and oddly romantic 'Birthday Song' came within a point of qualifying for the next stage. Lewis considered it 'the ultimate in Fall slushiness, worse than Bill or Rose', but Richard, bzfgt and Eric (who enjoyed its 'bubbly synth pads and spaciousness, giving Mark room to lay what passes for a lovely sentiment atop its instrumental bed') all rated it highly.

The (Are You Are Missing) Winners

The dark and difficult 'Spectre vs. Rector' topped the group, even gaining six marks from reknowned Dragnet skeptic Eric: 'such a compositional and sonic mess that even Dragnet's crap production doesn't really make much of a difference'. 'Shake-Off' is a personal favourite, so I was pleased to see it get decent marks across the board - as did 'Fol de Rol'. Support for '(Jung Nev’s) Antidotes' was much less consistent, Lewis suggesting (not unreasonably) that this version is 'possibly the worst Peel session performance ever'. 

Besides 'Portugal', 'Lost In Music' was the most divisive track. Paul Hanley thinks that it's The Fall's best cover, and Lewis agreed: '...by miles'. Eric took a very different view: 'a dreadful cover... The Fall were capable of many, many, MANY things, but when they've delved into US Funk/Soul, their stiff lack of swing often makes the results laughably lame, as is the case here.'

I am a consistent (some would say boringly insistent) champion of the oft-derided Re-Mit, so I was delighted to see 'Loadstones' squeeze into the next stage. My only criticism of the song was echoed by Lewis: 'ends too soon and too abruptly'.

Group 32

In the Park, Unutterable, I Am Damo Suzuki, Rude (All the time), Ibis-Afro Man, Powder Keg, Spoilt Victorian Child, Sir William Wray, Bingo Master’s Breakout, Quit iPhone, Chicago, Now!, Cary Grant’s Wedding, Entitled, Shoulder Pads, Putta Block

The Fallen

I'm not sure even Ed Blaney would have given the woeful 'Rude (All The Time)' any points. 'Dismal', thought Lewis; 'dreadful garbage' was Eric's view. Even experimental noodling fan Eric couldn't find a point for 'Unutterable' ('a half-baked fragment'). Lewis felt that it was 'the point during the album where you realise it's not quite the perfect record it was promising to be'. And so these two are the final entries on the 'nul points' list from the first stage.

For many people, 'Ibis-Afro Man' is the nadir of the Fall canon. Lewis is one of them ('quite possibly the worst Fall song ever recorded'), although he conceded that the 2G+2 version is 'slightly less unlistenable'. bzfgt found it 'weird and alluring', but not enough to give it any points. Richard: 'Unlike many people, I see this as a noble failure rather than a farce, and I salute it as it inevitably disappears from the competition.'

'In The Park' garnered a handful of points, but I don't think many people would argue with the consensus here that it's a minor moment on the generally excellent Grotesque. 'Short, rote, unmemorable' was Eric's summary. bzfgt came to the defence of 'Quit iPhone' ('a prophetic jumble - people say it’s too on the nose but they seemingly are only evaluating the title') but I was his only ally. Richard had some sympathy (certainly the best of the “Old man yells at iCloud” group of late Fall songs, but it can’t quite hold onto a point here') but Lewis was having none of it: 'pretty poor'.

I've always found 'Shoulder Pads' (both parts) distinctly irritating; only Richard showed any substantial disagreement. 'Hey! Luciani' b-side 'Entitled' is also far too lightweight for my tastes, but Eric was a big fan. bzfgt thought it 'nice, but always passes by quietly'; Lewis concurred: 'very slight, almost un-produced and so quiet', although he pointed out that this version is much better.

Our final faller was another b-side, the curious 'Putta Block'. According to Eric, it 'manages to kluge together a lot of elements from a lot of other Fall songs, making an unholy mess in the process, but one that somehow become deliriously grand when consumed as an entity in its own right'. Lewis also had a positive view: 'My first experience of it was on the Palace Of Swords compilation where it fitted in nicely, more so than as a b-side. The mix of live/studio/live is typical Fall misbehaviour and sets it apart.' Despite their support, it fell nine points short of qualification.

The (Are You Are Missing) Winners

'I Am Damo Suzuki' is perhaps the archetypal 'only The Fall could have produced this' track. 'Just stunning', thought Lewis, and there was no real disagreement. I was somewhat surprised to see 'Chicago Now!' up in second place, but it got top marks from both Eric and Richard. Of the remaining qualifiers, 'Sir William Wray' was the only one that divided the panel notably: high scores from bzfgt ('the riff is killer') and myself, but a zero from Eric ('It's only three and half minutes long, but it feels twice that when spinning it, going nowhere in an trying-too-hard fashion').

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